It’s been ages since I wrote for myself. I’ve been thinking about catching up, and i’ve really gotta learn to start making more positive habits in my life. Like setting 30 minutes a day to write about my day. Write now I’m exhausted, its 1am in the morning, I’m sunburnt, and I’m sitting in my Uncle Stevens living room. It’s been a long week, came up to Sacramento to say goodbye to my family before the trip to Singapore, and so far we havent had much quality time together, but it is good to be together. It’s funny how the siblings fall back into the usual routine of fighting/teasing each other, though I feel like Erin does get it hard, and it may be time to let up on her. I want to make a point of mentioning I support whoever she dates ( I met travis on the way to the airport, her boyfriend, he drove us…) Keith and I are constantly making jokes about her, her boyfriends, her choices in life. Feel sort of like we are like our dad, pushing and testing her to make her stronger. My dad always set expectations really high, everything was never good enough, because we could be the best. We were strong. The pushing, the yelling, the criticizing, sometimes made you feel like you werent good enough for him. When I got older I realized that we were always good enough for my Dad, he just wanted us to be proud of ourselves and the things we did. I do things better than people, I expect more out of life, I destroy my problems, conquer my fears…. Lowered expectations is not an answer. I believe in setting my goals so high that its unreasonable to think I can achieve them. Why? Because I believe I can always be better. Whether it is healthy or not to believe that what I do is never good enough, I don’t know that I will ever know. I do know that right now, and usually always, I am happy. I am happy to be constantly evolving into a person Im proud to be. I respect my Dad and I respect my mom. My dad taught me strength, respect, honesty and integrity. My mom taught me compassion, kindness, being selfless, letting go of my ego, caring…. she gave me the huge heart that I have today. It’s weird to think that these things sound so stereotypical of things you are supposed to learn from your parents, as I always considered my family and my upbringing so a-typical, so possibly dysfunctional. I’ve now come to realize that we and I are lightyears ahead of most poeple out there. I’m destined to be high class, high society, high achieving, successful, stars of society. This is weird becuase it seems so different from the family around us. It’s like my mom and dad got together and said we arent going to be stuck within our familys bonds, we are going to do more than either family could. Good stuff.
Back to my week, so I’ve spent this week in Sacramento and San Francisco hanging with my Uncle David and the rest of the family. We started out the week by visiting San Francisco, I woke up that morning in my shorts and sandals ready to make the trip to San Francisco only to hear that though it is 90 degrees outside, San Francisco, only an hour away, would be around 50 degrees. It didn’t make sense to me , but I gave my uncle the benefit of the doubt and threw on some jeans. Turns out San Fran is fucking freezing during the summer, not so invincible Jason. Things are different, everything does change, you have to be fluid. You is a fluid concept. Didn’t bring a jacket, because my thickhead decided I would be good. I like to believe I can break through anything, that being cold is just a concept in ones head, but shit it was cold, and damn did I complain. My uncle ended up giving me his jacket, but it had cat hair all over it, so my chest decided to erupt in a battle against the cat hair, bringing forth a rash that I wouldnt be proud to tell anyone about. (probably good that im writing about it, but what do I have to prove? I am only human. I am who I was born and who I chose to be. Don’t know who will be reading this blog in the future, but It’s safe to assume that I never want to be ashamed of anything that is me.) Anyways, Alcatraz was sold out at Pier 32, so we decided to get a tour around the bay. It would have been nice to see Alcatraz, but I dont see it going anywhere anytime soon, so this was probably better. Instead of leaving for the boat ride then (because it was freezing) we decided to walk around a bit, catch lunch, check out the street performers etc. San Francisco really impressed me, I love the diversity of the people walking around. There was no one type of person, no stereotype, no demographic, it was just the human essence at its finest. I loved seeing the street performers making their living, there was a group of african american kids busting out some choreography, looking oh so serious, being oh so shitty. You can tell they put some work into it, but they werent calibrated, they werent thinking about what the street, their audience wanted to see, I dont imagine them making much money. There was several painted “dancers” , “robots” whatever that really were horrible. It seemed like they didnt put any effort into having the body control it took to really make some cash. After a solid week of work I would be infinitely better than them, definately more theatrical, and Im sure raking in 10x the dough. Too bad I dont see street performing in my future. There was also the most famous, guy in the bushes. A guy brings two branches with leaves with him, sits on a bucket, and disguises himself behind the leaves. Ever so frequently he would scare someone, who would let out shrieks of laughter and fright, then taking the time to wait for the next victim to be scared so they could feel better about themselves. He was playing on peoples psyche, peoples ego, and it was wonderful. Everyone wanted to pay him to scare certain people, and wanted to pay him for being scared, because it was funny, it was fun, and it broke any state of reality someone was in 2 seconds before being scared. How fragile your frame of reality is. There was an old man doing the old cups and balls routine, I was definately better, and could be more theatrical than any street act out there, whether it be the guy dancing in the bear suit, or the girl in the red leather pants playing piano. But really this is just the faith that with a little time I can do most things better than most people in less time. Cocky huh? Realistic? Definately. We went into an irish pub to eat, had some shitty sweet potatoe fries, and some shitty fish and chips. The irish sucked, and I wont be going back there again, Im sure ireland would be disgraced of the pub as well. Went into several art exhibits, saw some paintings of Dr. Seuss was really inspired by the art. Would love to check out some other art displays in the future. We also made our way over to the Ghiardellis where my fam decided to munch on some apparently delicious ice cream. I proceeded to get compliments on my cheesy MIAMI VICE tshirt I had picked up at walmart for 15 bucks prior to the trip. Women looking for 40 year old men, take note, miami vice tshirts are your in. Finally made it to the boat ride and was freeeeezing cold on the boat. It seemed like the captain was late for the ride, so he sped his ass off to under the golden gate bridge. Mid ride I offered to take a picture for this asian girl, pretty cute, short hair. She then took pictures of us, and it was way too incredibly easy to open and spend time with the girl. It would have been nice to meet someone new, but there was really no future in our interaction. What would I do? ditch my family for some girl I met on a boat? No way. We got back from the boat ride exhausted, but somehow refreshingly relaxed. Can’t remember doing anything after, but I do remember falling asleep wishing we had checked out China town and so many other places.
Girl/waitress at olive garden, who also worked at holiday harbor. Getting stranded in boat. grandma and grandpas house, jelly bean factory, moms phone call to me, buying plane tickets, swimming, diving, allergies daves house, flight over here, erin almost being late, travis, mom sickness, kkkkk <- me falling asleep on the keyboard on the k button, getting ready for singapore, movies watched, back to school, how to lose a guy in 10 days, aunt debbie, conversations in the car about what i want to be when i grow up, aunt debbie uganda rebels, incredibles, whalerider, terminator 3 (ending how the apocolypse is inevitable, just live on ).
Tons to write about.Dammit.Sleeptime.