Jason::Adams

Seriously,

I’m stoked! I’ve been more stressed than ever lately, with the hardest school schedule I’ve ever had, pressure from my work, there isn’t much time for friends or much else for that matter.  I’ve been living by myself for the last month or two, and though it can be lonely, I really enjoy it.  It gives me alot of time to myself, where I can be productive… I’ve started to get those random “joy chills” or whatever the hell I’m going to call them.  Ever since I was a little kid I would get a rush of excitement, or I would just suddenly feel real excited, real happy, almost a happy anxiousness.  Randomly after finishing a days work, or just accomplishing something, or maybe even for no reason before I’m going to bed, always by myself, I’ll get one of these chills.  It shoots up my spine, and then I can’t help but smile. I’m just suddenly refresh, I smile huge to myself, and think “holy shit Im so happy to be alive”.  My life is a blast, I do crazy things, I have great friends, I am choosing my destiny, I am shaping my fortune.  I’ve started taking control of everything in my life, and I’m learning that life is a blank canvas for you to paint on.  I’m excited for the future, and scared for the end.  In the end its just really good to know that I am such a unique individual.  I used to get these happyness chills all the time, and you may even associate it with ADD, and I learned to control them or hold them back.  I think my goal now is to let it out,  it may make me giggle, or do something weird, or just try and lift the moment….. but though it may seem out of place….. I know in my heart that its for a good reason, that I’m helping people…. A child can break emotional tension between parents with a simple giggle, with a lil act.  It’s that  same principal, your EMOTIONS are fluid, and are a choice.  I don’t know I’m just excited to be living, I always feel like I don’t have much time left, TIME LEFT TO DO WHAT?, Who knows…  I’m just excited I have time.  It’s an awesome place to be in.  I got myself out of alot of negative environments, and now im in a neutral place.  It’s time to build positivity, optimisim in my life.  I want to surround myself in people that will push me for even higher excellence, for happiness, for joy, for everything and anything we can all hope for.
This probably sounds like some real hippy shit , but honestly I’m just fucking stoked… I’m stoked because I know alot of things other people dont, and though it makes me sad that some people may live their whole lives never learning the things I’ve learned, (and living in ignorance of the people trying to teach them), but at the same time I feel powerful and HAPPY that I got to learn what I did.  I’m going to own this game of life. Fucking own it.

 

Listenting to - My Chemical Romance - Welcome to the Black Parade , and The Appleseed Cast - Fight Song

Black Parade is awesome for reflecting about death, and living on through life.  It’s about saying fuck everyone else, and not apologizing for your existence, and living life the way you want too.

Fight song is just a real chill, ambient, simple sound song.  Puts me in a great relaxed mood.

“Self improvement is masturbation, self destruction is the answer.”

 — Tyler Durden, Fight Club

A friend helped me realize that I put on an act when I’m with different people.  When I was younger I learned that my passion and interest in so many things was seen as dorky, or socially misaligned in some ways.  I used to get really excited over the smallest things, I guess I’m really just a big kid.  It seems I have been overcompensating and actively “acting” dissinterested.  Why not be a man, not be afraid of who I am, and show my passion for the things around me.  Goals are to show my passion, talk about the things I love, and really express when I feel things are interesting no matter the circumstance.  I will make this change and report back on how my life has changed.  Ask myself, am I really being honest with myself throughout the day.  Passionate Interested Aware Relaxed Happy

Currenty Listenting to Artist Mew.  Really digging it, gotta love music that makes it easy for you to go introspective and write blogs about yourself, your life, all written for yourself.

“BALANCE is vital in life, physical/mental/spiritual. All parts of your life need to be focussed on and balanced. If you make the decision to sacrifice any part of your life to focus on something specific, make sure you are aware of the consequences and you will accept them when they happen….”

“We are all born perfect and complete human beings….but we sometimes let our lives get out of balance, or we listen to what other people say about us too much, or we sweat too much about the little things….we forget about the big picture, what really matters, and we neglect certain things that are important to us…”